Day 3 of My Exposure Therapy

Today was not the best of days. It left me agitated.

There's a useless lady and a guy who work today was simply to harass me.

Kids from her premises started shouting at the top of their voices thereby getting me highly disturbed and irritated. I couldn't focus. I was a 100% sure it was targeted at me.

The lady has a long term history of stigmatizing me and today, she was in her elements. What had empowered her over the years was my inability to curtail her bullying was my inability to bring in the police because I was feel very anxious at the police station. Anxiety really is a nightmarish condition.

Another problem I had was the use of mobbing. These bullies never fought alone. Bunch of cowards. They would at the end of the day invite their friends and then overwhelm their victim. Obviously, it never was physical but verbal.

I couldn't even sleep in my room because the noise coming from outside kept frustrating me. I was incensed and powerless at the same time.

I was filled with rage but could not express that rage, they'd say nothing they were doing was targeted at me and it was the figment of my imagination. Then, it will get worse. They are toxic lot.

One kid  even shouted, "Are you mad?!" at the top of his voice towards me as I was walking towards him and he fled off. This just left my rage especially my powerlessness to do something.

Then, the useless lady shouted at the top of her voice, "Your head is not okay", but disguised to look as though it was targeted at someone else.

I began to bite a finger on my right hand. This I do when I am filled with fury and rage.I wish I could take a stick and beat the daylights out of them but I remembered the mobbing and that it would be counterproductive unless I had "boys" who had my back which I didn't.

In the evening, the noise just got worse with one of the bad boys in my area making noise with his boys just outside my window. I had to come outside and warn the ringleader that I will call the cops.

Once, I said this, his pals began to plead that they'll stop their noise making. It was just crocodile tears. They started almost as soon as they stopped. I was livid.

However, despite all these, I still did my walk up the street, went to Ikeja Shopping Mall, enter Shoprite and went to KFC, even though it was a few short minutes.

I'll still deal with the bullies. My treatment however must proceed nonetheless!