Day 14 of My Exposure Therapy

Today was eventful for a reason.

Had a very horrible sleep despite taking Nytol, a sleeping supplement. I doubt I slept more than 2 hours in total. It was that bad. I was on edge during the day.

Went for a property inspection far from my place. Noticed I was on edge most times but also noticed an improved level of confidence sometimes. I won't give up

The client came late and was not too impressed by the location because of the waterlogged nature of the area. I left him around 1pm and headed home.

Before getting home, I decided to stroll into a KFC as part of my exposure therapy. I sat very close to the window on a 2 seater table. Can't remember greeting the fellow in front of me but I probably did. Later asked if he had a pen and he said no.

He then left and a pretty lady now took his spot. She asked if I won't mind and I said no. I was initially uncomfortable but I relaxed eventually. I focused on my phone and looking outside. I asked if she had a pen and she said no. Why don't people go round with their pens.

She asked me if she could use my phone that she had no phone credit. I wanted to ask her to give me her number than I'll send her some phone credits through mobile banking. A call came in, most likely from her beau (who I believed she wanted to call) and she described to the caller how to locate the KFC restaurant. While talking, she sighted her beau on the other side of the road and I think she said goodbye as she stood up and left.

For some reason I felt good about myself. For long, I have suffered from negative self image because of the bullying. Her asking me for help went a long way in alleviating some of that negative perception. I am determined that all such negative self talk and image disappears totally.

I went home from there and within the hour, I was fast asleep. The time was just around 3pm and I didn't wake up till 9pm. I wonder whether I was making up from the poor sleep I had or if it was the experience with the lady that brought about the well deserved nap.

Anyway, I'm awake now typing away.

I did not go to Shoprite today. I felt my encounter with the lady was enough therapy. I am going to go further. with my exposure therapy.