Day 15 of My Exposure Therapy

I have to apologies that I have not been updating as frequently as I should. I have missed about 2 days now. Well, better late than never. I believe all will benefit from my updates.

I will post for Day 15 now.

Today, the neighborhood guy and went drinking with nicked my tablet. I was livid and called the cops to pick him. He denied it but I know he is the only one capable of doing such. The stress of getting my line back and the money for a new phone are too much for me now. Anyway, I've emptied my bare bank account in order to get any phone that does whatsapp no matter how cheap.

A close friend came around 10:30 and we went to the mall together. We went to Shoprite where he got a few things for himself and bought me a cake. I enjoyed the cake.

I saw him off taking the long route of my exposure therapy. My therapy for the day is three quarters done.

I am being bullied unrelentingly and it has put me on edge. It is sabotaging my treatment. It's just cruel, crude and annoying. They are just a bunch of useless people that are best ignored. Stigmatizing me won't make you a dime. It just shows how worthless your life is. I have to rise above them.

Only problem is that stigmatising is humiliating and it makes me want to crawl in to the ground. I feel all eyes are on me and makes me self conscious. Also, words are powerful and can mould a person's perception of his or herself.

One thing I must do to counter it is to put myself out there more. Rather than become reclusive, I must put myself out there more to counteract an y negative thinking that may develop.

Also, I don't think the treatment is working relating to the aspect of trauma. I need to remove the trauma caused by the bullying over the years from my system. That's the primary reason I started the treatment.

I have to be honest, there might have been some improvements but it's not as deep as I want. I will have to be brutally frank with him the next time we meet.

Also. I notice a stress on theright side of my head. I know it represents something. I know it's psychosomatic. If it goes, I believe the trauma will go.

Anyway, my arresting the thief and taking him to the police station completed the exposure therapy today. No need going to KFC.

I was quite nervous at the station but I notice my eye contact problem might be easing gradually but I should be patient. It's the bullying that puts me on edge.

I noticed little improvements in some areas. I am more confident around people but tend to be my own worst critic always assessing myself based on the stigmatising words hurled at me.